Violation
by Razorback Jack
Summary: The story of an assassin from another world, who comes to Acme Acres for one purpose and one alone: to kill Lola Bunny. Reviews are encouraged, but be constructive.
1. Kennedy Syndrome

VIOLATION  
  
As written by Razorback Jack (glendarl@worldnet.att.net)  
  
TTA characters (c) Warner Brothers/Amblim Ent. 2000  
LT characters (c) Warner Brothers 2000  
Heavy Gear characters/equipment (c) Activision 2000  
Third-party characters (c) their creators 2000  
Any new character added into this story is either one I have created or one created withn the consent of the party representing the character.  
  
***  
  
Obligatory First Note:  
  
Greetings, and welcome to my new TTA fan-fic. Though this is my first full-fledged TTA fan-fic, I have attemped to write a story related to the universe of the Looney Tunes and Tiny Toons. It flopped, mainly because I may have written several characters out-of-character, and the fact that it straddled the line between TTA and TTBS a little too uncomfortably for my taste. All in all, I think this next project might straddle those lines again, but not for any sexual content. No, more for violence and language than anything else. I'd rate this story R, but I should know that the PG-13 rating is flexible...and anyone who's seen "The Fifth Element" should agree with me.  
  
Now, some of you may have seen the trailer on HKUriah's mailing list, and some of you may not have. But my outlines are threadbare...questions still rattle through your mind. Who is this mystery assassin? Why is he trying to kill Lola Bunny? Will it be a good story? In due time, I shall answer these questions...after all, you know the old maxim..."Good things come to those who wait..." and it certainly applies in this case.  
  
All ready to go? Right! On we go!  
  
***  
  
Chapter 1: Kennedy Syndrome  
  
For a time, they were a focal point of the media.  
  
The marriage of Bugs and Lola Bunny shortly after the completion of "Space Jam" certainly drew the attention of the Acme Acres Media Establishment (henceforth to be refered to as AAME. This should not be confused with ACME, producer of quality products used for years to increase humorous effect). For two months after the wedding, AAME continually hounded the new couple, probing a bit too far into their personal lives. Tabloids flew around making very inflammatory remarks about the couple, claiming anything from the sensible to the obscene to the just plain ridiculous. And when Jessica was born, AAME jumped on them again.  
  
Finally, after much action, including a nearly-fulfilled threat on the part of Bugs to blow the AAME offices to bits and pieces, AAME finally let up, and the family could live in peace. However, when Jessica was "abducted" (to put it in terms which might explain the family's feelings), Lola and Bugs kept it under wraps to avoid AAME detection. A few tabloids here and there tried to reveal the story, but they were largely ignored.  
  
After Jessica's return, and a whirlwind of events too lengthy to accurately mention here, the family of Bugs and Lola settled down once more. They thought they could live in peace...but alas, that dream was still as far away as ever. A new threat loomed like a dark cloud...but neither the Bunnies, nor the mighty AAME knew of it...or it's intended effect...  
  
---  
  
Six thirty past midday (6:30 pm in layman's terms). A dark alley laid almost untouched in the vast city known as Acme Acres. Not even the various thugs, hoodlums, and general scum went there (thus attesting to the horrid conditions of the alley). But on this night, the silence would be broken by an unsuspected visitor.  
  
A red circle glowed in an enclave to the side of the alley. A circle that would eventually tell a tale of tragedy, anger, and of insurmountable odds undertaken by one dark individual...who, you ask? You do not know...and yet you do not wish to know...  
  
The circle continued to glow in it's crimson color, moving slightly as if to say it were attached to something...like a head. It then turned in on itself, disappearing after doing so. Then a solitary noise...a mechanical noise...was heard as it mingled with the sound of feet going through puddles. A voice can also be heard...  
  
"The hunt begins..."  
  
---  
  
At the residence of Bugs and Lola, everything had quieted down considerably. Now that AAME was no longer concerned with their affairs, they could actively live a life they had wanted.  
  
Bugs was just getting home from the Looniversity. Some nut stuffed a vial of nitroglycerin into Elmer Fudd's hat while he wasn't looking. The resulting mess took two hours to clean up, all the while AAME giving updates to their newsroom a few miles away. Bugs was really beginning to get ticked off by AAME's activities.  
  
"When's AAME going ta stop wit dis "exclusive story" gimmick? De've been shoving dis stuff down our troats for ages! Can't dey just take a hint and LEAVE?"  
  
Bugs opened the door and walked on in, holding a briefcase (which Bugs didn't usually do except in cases where he needed to take something from his job back home to study). Lola then walked in and greeted Bugs cherfully.  
  
"Hi Bugs."  
  
"Hi Lola."  
  
They exchanged a kiss, which nowadays was more commonplace than Montana Max's money scams...which is saying quite a lot, when you think about it.  
  
Hmm, wouldn't their lips be sore by now? Oh, wait, they're toons...scratch that.  
  
*SCRATCH!*  
  
Ow! Hey! I didn't mean literaly! Buncha liberals...  
  
Anyway, Bugs put down his briefcase and went into the kicthen along with Lola. Then a yellow blur hit Bugs like the proverbial ton of bricks. When he could get his head up, Jessica was staring into his face!  
  
"Dad! You're back!"  
  
"Whoa kiddo, you've got ta loin not ta go jumping on me like dat!"  
  
"Sorry. In Japan I learned this as a personality."  
  
"A poisonality? What kind?"  
  
"The 'Unbearably Cute and Energetic Teenager.'"  
  
"Figures."  
  
Jessica let Bugs off the floor, now with a genuine Bugs Bunny-shaped dent. And you know what fixing those dents cost...no better than the auto industry!  
  
*ahem*  
  
Now that Bugs was up, he sat down in a conveniently located easy chair (well, as convenient as you could get at Bugs' status...) and took a breather. He picked up the paper and started to read.  
  
"Hmm...'Yosemite Sam caught holding jug of moonshine, Acme Acres yawns.' Good ol' Sam...he'd never do anyting smart 'less someone told 'im!"  
  
Suddenly, Yosemite burst in, carrying his trademark six-shooters.  
  
"Ah heard that, ya varmint!"  
  
"Sam, ya surprise me. Why would ya bust in ta my humble home when ya know you couldn't hit da broad side of a barn?"  
  
"That's gone and done it, rabbit! Say yer prayers..."  
  
Suddenly, something shot up from out of the floorboards, but it wasn't any rabbit. And don't get me started about the KGB...  
  
He was a human, wearing a black business suit, black fedora, white shirt with grey tie, and towered above the other two by a good two feet or so. He held a briefcase, and almost seemed like the perfect gentleman.  
  
That is, until he started talking.  
  
"Good evening, gentlemen, I am Mr. A of the IRS..."  
  
Bugs and Sam shrieked in horror and ducked behind any available furniture.  
  
"...and no, the intials DON'T stand for 'Internal Revenue Service.' It stands for 'Inane Roach Society.'"  
  
Bugs and Sam quickly reverted to their previous places.  
  
"Ahl right, varmint, what's ya business heah?"  
  
"Well...Sam, is it? Anyway, Sam, I have come to press legal charges."  
  
"Legal charges?! If yah talkin' 'bout bringin' me in, yah ain't gonna do it!"  
  
"Not quite like that, but it's close. I am Mr. A of the IRS, and I am a lawyer, tax collector, accountant, telemarketer, KGB agent, politician, mortician, game show host, and all-around thug."  
  
Bugs and Sam stared wide-eyed at Mr. A, not knowing if it was a good sign. Bugs decided to find out.  
  
"Doc, just how'd you get to be like this?"  
  
"Hey, ever since Lance Ito became a sitting judge, ANYTHING'S possible!"  
  
Mr. A turned to Sam, a devious glare in his eyes.  
  
"Now, Sam, I am representing Mr. Bugs Bunny (see Case of Yosemite Sam vs. the City of Acme Acres, page 96, paragraph 12, subparagraph 8, clause 4) in a lawsuit brought against you, on charges of entrapment, illegal handling of firearms, misuse of funds, alcohol abuse, refusal to advance to modern clothing and styles, lack of competence, and inability to capture anything."  
  
"Whuzzat ahl 'bout?"  
  
"You'll see. Here's the statement on the amount you need to pay."  
  
Mr. A pulled out a scroll and rolled it out. His right hand covered what text was on the right side, but on the left was a clearly marked dollar amount.  
  
"Ten thousand dollahs, eh? Ahl be dad-burned! I can pay that easy!"  
  
"Oh, sorry. This is only a fraction of it."  
  
Mr. A released hold of the bottom part of the scroll, and it rolled down, going about six miles before stopping. Sam's jaw dropped, his skin paled, his pupils narrowed, and finally he let out a blood curdling scream. He dropped his guns and dashed outside, with Mr. A in hot pursuit.  
  
"Hey! And here's a charge for littering! Come back here! You can't escape the law for long, skiver! Get back here or I'll have you shot on sight!"  
  
As the two ran away, Bugs slammed the door and locked it. He exhaled a sigh of relief, and went to the kitchen where Lola has finished fixing dinner.  
  
---  
  
At around 9:30 pm, Lola and Bugs went to sleep in their room. But outside, a somehow familiar presence stood. His silhouette was greatly amplified by the moon's brightness, even though the moon wasn't really providing the light. And a red circle...the stranger from the alley had come to the house...but for what purpose?  
  
"Hmm...they're asleep. Perhaps it's time I inspected the place. It will help me later..."  
  
The person as yet unidentified crept closer to the house. He came to the door of the house and tried to open it. Finding it locked, he then stood back and looked downward to some object.  
  
"Kilowatt, skeleton key."  
  
The object lit up, and soon it clearly reveal itself...a gun. But no ordinary gun, a gun with a computer brain. An attachment came out of the front end below the barrel. The person stuck the attachment into the lock, and soon opened the door.  
  
He ventured through the halls and corridors of Bunny Manor (a name with some definite overtones, when compared with Bugs' previous homes) until he came across the door to an office. The reason we know is because when the person opened the door, a veritable avalanche of papers fell in, causing no real noise. When the man dug himself out, he then walked into the office and looked over the papers.  
  
"Hmm...an...interesting filing system...let's have a look inside."  
  
Then the red circle became white and illuminated his path. With the light, however, it was now possible to see who the mysterious visitor was.  
  
A cyborg.  
  
The cyborg walked through the papers, trying to avoid lumps which could well have hidden furniture.  
  
"Why do I feel like I've come across Bill Gates' media offices? There's got to be SOMETHING I can use in here!"  
  
The cyborg sifted through papers, carefully noting information that could well be valuable. And then the real discovery...  
  
A book. A Cartoon Physics book. The cyborg smiled.  
  
"What have we here? Something I can use, methinks. Maybe I can learn of a way to fulfill my mission..."  
  
The cyborg put the book under his arm and carefully went through the papers to get back out. When he finally got out, he heard something. Being a cyborg, he not only had enhanced sight (at least in one eye), but enhanced hearing as well. Quickly, the cyborg dashed away, leaving a couple of footprints behind him and a messy office. He dashed out the door no sooner than Lola had come out in her robe. Her eyes had already been adjusted to the dark (yessir, carrots are cheaper than night vision goggles and oh so more reliable!), so she saw the mess. She raised an eyebrow in wonder.  
  
"Odd...I don't remember anyone opening this door...hello, what's this?"  
  
Lola knelt on the ground and spotted footprints. Neither print looked like it came from any shoe or sandel. Rather, they appeared vaguely mechanical...like a machine had been there... She stood up and began to try and piece things together.  
  
"Hmm...someone must have tried to break in...I'll tell Bugs later...I don't think he wants to be awakened by this."  
  
With that, Lola went back to the bedroom.  
  
Outside, the cyborg (who had thoughtfully remembered to close the door) now stood again, but this time looking off into the night.  
  
"So, I have a challenge ahead of me! That should be no problem...for me, the indomitable assassin...Homicide!"  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
***  
  
If you're expecting any copyrights down here, you missed it.  
  
No, wait, there is ONE thing I need to mention...  
  
Any artwork that is to be drawn in relation or even in tandum with this story is to be first directed to the author for consideration and revision. Rough drafts only, please.  
  
Random Stupid Saying:  
  
"THEY COULDN'T HIT AN ELEPHANT AT THIS DIST-!"  
-General Whatshisname (I forgot his real name), at the Battle of Spotsylvania Courthouse  
  
In case you're wondering, he was shot before he could finish. What a tacky way to go :p... 


	2. The Hunt Begins

VIOLATION  
  
As written by Razorback Jack (glendarl@worldnet.att.net)  
  
TTA characters (c) Warner Brothers/Amblim Ent. 2000  
LT characters (c) Warner Brothers 2000  
Heavy Gear characters/equipment (c) Activision 2000  
Third-party characters (c) their creators 2000  
Any new character added into this story is either one I have created or one created with the consent of the party representing the character.  
All characters/products are the sole property of their owners.  
  
***  
  
Chapter 2: The Hunt Commences  
  
Homicide sighed. He wasn't used to being so close to capture in an instant. On the other hand, he never had an assignment quite like this anyway. It seemed likely that a few close shaves would be expected. He made a note of that in his storage chip.  
  
He stood up and looked around. It was now around midnight, a little less than three hours after he had managed to find the information he needed from Bugs' office. He was now flipping through the Cartoon Physics book at his naturally rapid pace. He then stopped on a particular chapter that caught his attention like a shot.  
  
"Hmm, what's this? 'The Laws of Cartoon Frailty, Patent Pending...' the plot thickens."  
  
As thick as the plot was, however, Homicide needed to concentrate on the task at hand...his assassination mission.  
  
But how are you supposed to assassinate a cartoon character?  
  
The answer escaped Homicide...at least, for now...  
  
---  
  
Morning. Some people wake up wishing it had never come. Others take it on as if it were nothing. But at Bunny Manor, it meant something. Most of the time, it meant something that can't be reprinted due to American Censorship Standards.  
  
Bugs opened the door to his office, stepping out of the way before the avalanche of papers could so much as blow wind through his fur. As he entered, he sensed that something wasn't quite right. For now, he dismissed it, and looked for a specific book. In fact, it was a book that would cause quite a stir.  
  
Lola was making breakfast when the gray blur shot into the room.  
  
"Da book! It's GONE!"  
  
Lola turned around to see Bugs, standing in a puddle of sweat and apparently very nervous about something.  
  
"Huh? What book?"  
  
"My cartoon physics book! I need dat to give my class a lecture today!"  
  
"Bugs, you'll find it...where was it last time?"  
  
"Right where I left it!"  
  
"Where was the last place you left it?"  
  
"My office! It was right dere in my office!"  
  
Now Lola was becoming concerned. Had someone indeed broke into the house last night and stolen something? She decided to tell Bugs.  
  
"Uhm, Bugs? I think I should tell you something..."  
  
"Sure. What?"  
  
"I think someone broke into our house last night."  
  
Bugs was taken aback a bit, then grew angry, realizing the almost obvious.  
  
"Why dat doity scoundral! He stole dat book!"  
  
"Well, maybe. Didn't you see his footprints outside your office?"  
  
"No. Dat's where the papers always land."  
  
"Well, go sift through them and check the floor. They'll be there..."  
  
Bugs then shot back upstairs and soon papers were flying. It was then Bugs found the footprints.  
  
"Wait a dang minute here! Dese footprints aren't of any foe I've ever encountered! Not even of that crazy Inspector! Maybe I'd better call him..."  
  
Just then, a barely discernable lump fell from the ceiling. It stood up, quickly revealing itself to be none other than the Inspector, in clothes that one would have thought was part of Inspector Gadget's waredrobe were it not for the fact that it was brown.  
  
"Alright! Nobody move!"  
  
"How'd ya get here so fast, doc?"  
  
"We took the express plane. Come, assistant!"  
  
The Inspector's assistant, Whatshisname, then popped out of a desk drawer in Bugs' office and ran up to the Inspector.  
  
"Yes Inspector?"  
  
"Assistant! We have a crime to investigate..."  
  
Then the Inspector used slight of hand to reveal a magnifying glass, and held it really close to a conveniently placed camera.  
  
"...and I suspect...a government conspiracy!"  
  
*DUM DA DUM DUM!*  
  
"Where'd that come from, Inspector?"  
  
"I don't know, Whatshisname. But I suspect...a government conspiracy!"  
  
*DUM DA DUM DUM!*  
  
"Doc, is dat really necessary?"  
  
"Only if you're in my line of work. Now, what's the problem?"  
  
"SOMEBODY STOLE MY BOOK!"  
  
Bugs then lowered the volume, seeing as the Inspector and his Assistant were now pancakes against the wall. The pancaked men soon slipped off, then reverted to their normal selves.  
  
"I mean, somebody stole my book."  
  
"What was the book?"  
  
"A physics book."  
  
"What kind of physics book?"  
  
"A cartoon physics book."  
  
"What kind of cartoon physics book?"  
  
"A new one...HEY, CUT THAT OUT!"  
  
Again, two pancakes were on the wall. Now Lola came up to see what was going on.  
  
"Bugs, I know these things are stressful, but why did you throw two pancakes at the wall?"  
  
Suddenly, the pancakes reverted to their original forms, and the Inspector and his Assistant and ran up to Lola.  
  
"That, my dear lady, is an insult! Whatshisname, I'm going to question this lady! Write down everything we say!"  
  
And so the Inspector goes off into a lengthy but rapidly-spoken interrogation of Lola, all while Whatshisname wrote down everything, breaking his pencils and sharpening them.  
  
"Are you sure that is all you remember, Lola?"  
  
"I'm sure."  
  
"Right then! Off we go! Come assistant!"  
  
But the assistant was apparently no more. A huge pile of pencil shavings stood where the assistant was.  
  
"Come on out of there, we've got to go!"  
  
Now Bugs came by.  
  
"Say, Doc?"  
  
"Hmm? What is it, civilian?"  
  
"I noticed you look a bit like Mr. A of the IRS. He wouldn't happen to be your broder, would he?"  
  
"Yes. But I'm trying to find out why...and I suspect...a government conspiracy!"  
  
*DUM DA DUM DUM!*  
  
"Oh, DO shut up! As if twice wasn't enough!"  
  
*SCREECH!*  
  
"Right. Come, assistant!"  
  
Soon, the Inspector and his assistant went to the bathroom. The Inspector flushed himself down the toilet while Whatshisname shot up through the showerhead.  
  
"Sheesh...ya tink de'd stop coming by here by now."  
  
"They're certainly nutty. Does it run in the family?"  
  
"Broder, you'd better believe it."  
  
I HEARD THAT!!  
  
"Sorry!"  
  
Buncha communists...  
  
---  
  
It was about 8:00 in the morning when Bugs got to his office. He looked outside and saw the rush of students. He noted the characters that didn't quite fit in, like Marty Martan and Ramona Rabbit. There was also Lola's three cousins, Nigel, Lionel, and Lizbeth. Lionel was with Miranda Mink, while Nigel was with the self-proclaimed nudist RuBarb. Some of the relationships he saw would completely break steryotypes if not for the fact they were all toons.  
  
He then was looking through the papers. Among them was included a statement about a new teacher coming into the faculty. But he wasn't from Acme Acres. He was from somewhere entirely different.  
  
Bugs wasn't sure about hiring this guy, so he decided to wait on it. A year seemed best, in this case. But he wasn't too sure about his Lola...though she'd been teaching for about four years now, he had the feeling that she was about to get some new challenge...  
  
---  
  
Perched on the roof of the Looniversity Gymnasium (which had added a glass skylight about a month before) was Homicide. He held his gun and telescoped his eye toward Lola. He wasn't sure if it'd be a good idea to assassinate her while she was giving P.E. Lessons. But, as Homicide always said, 'whatever works.'  
  
He aimed his gun and cocked the hammer. He then pulled the trigger to test it, as he wasn't sure what weapon would be best for the job. He looked through his choices, then chose.  
  
"Kilowatt, silenced auto-fire."  
  
Kilowatt (Homicide's computerized gun) calibrated itself to his specifications. Satisfied that it would be more or less discreet, he aimed once more at Lola.  
  
And then, trouble.  
  
A second Lola appeared out of nowhere into the gym.  
  
"What in the name of Liandri?"  
  
Homicide took down his gun, then looked at the two Lolas. Something wasn't right. One was shorter than the other. And did Lola have pink fur?  
  
"Who is that, some damned 'Mini-me' imitator?"  
  
"Don't you believe it, Homicide."  
  
Homicide looked up to see Dr. Evil in his evil suit, with his evil (and incredibly tacky) face.  
  
"Dr. Evil, if you don't mind, I must ask you to leave."  
  
"What, and miss the opportunity to conquer this dimension?"  
  
"Dr. Evil, zark off!"  
  
For maximum effect, Homicide proceeded to "give him the bird," as it were.  
  
"I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOUR INSOLENCE!"  
  
It was at this moment that a two-ton anvil flew by. Only Dr. Evil's shoes remained after the fly by.  
  
"Saved by an anvil...this IS a weird place!"  
  
Homicide aimed his gun again, but this time he couldn't see anyone inside. Dr. Evil had bungled things once again, but not just for himself.  
  
"Arrgh..."  
  
Homicide didn't notice that a tan blur and a pink blur shot through the gym while he was cursing every single relation of Dr. Evil.  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
***  
  
Never judge a story by it's copyrights. ;-)  
  
Anyway, this is probably one of them lighter chapters in this story. There's also a prequel of sorts that may come along at some point, but don't call me, I'll call YOU about it, green? 


	3. No Time for Generals

VIOLATION  
  
As written by Razorback Jack (glendarl@worldnet.att.net)  
  
TTA characters (c) Warner Brothers/Amblim Ent. 2000  
LT characters (c) Warner Brothers 2000  
Heavy Gear characters/equipment (c) Activision 2000  
Third-party characters (c) their creators 2000  
Any new character added into this story is either one I have created or one created with the consent of the party representing the character.  
All characters/products are the sole property of their owners.  
  
***  
  
I think, perhaps, I should give you fair warning: there MIGHT be a very slight TTBS factor involved. But I'll try to put it into terms that won't be TOO offensive. It's all in the writing, so I'm going to have to write it in a way that might (no guarantee of this) throw people off.  
  
Too bad every author can't do that...  
  
***  
  
Chapter 3: No Time for Generals  
  
The Looniversity was preparing for another football season, again waiting to tackle Perfecto Prep. The Looniversity had won every ACME Bowl since 1991 or so, and Perfecto was beginning to waver.  
  
That all changed when the General came.  
  
General Spitz Bricabrac, that is. Bricabrac was a child prodigy, and caught the attention of the world when he graduated from West Point when he was only seven! He soon was the lead commander of the War Committee, a group of battle-hardened soliders who were going to resort to an unconventional method of conquest: time travel.  
  
Their plan was to take over Earth during the 16th century, when the weaponry was inferior to the modern standards. Unfortunately, dissenters within the ranks of the War Committee had their own agendas...  
  
After a string of events leading to his downfall, Bricabrac sailed along until he came across the sorry remains of Perfecto and it's football team. He applied for the job as Coach of the team and began an incredibly rigorous training regime for the Preppies. Within just three weeks the team had gone from merely exceptional to Super Bowl Championship winners.  
  
Now, with the ACME Bowl approaching, the Acme Loo football team had to figure out a way to beat the Preppies before they could reclaim the championship from Acme Loo. And things weren't going well.  
  
For starters, Plucky resigned almost instantly when he saw the list of requirements. Hamton left as well, feigning food poisioning. Soon the football team was whittled down more and more as training picked up. Not even Nigel, with his rugby tactics in store, could stem the tide of resignations. If they didn't stop this soon, there would be no ACME Bowl at all, and Perfecto Prep. would win by default!  
  
And so Bugs and the staff went behind closed doors to discuss their plans for the football team...  
  
---  
  
Meanwhile, the Preppies were being drilled constantly by the maniacal General Bricabrac.  
  
"Hup two, hup two, come on you apes, you wanna win the season?! Let's move, go go GO!  
  
Bricabrac was leading the football team on their normal six mile run. Early on Roderick had some problems adapting, but after Bricabrac offered a sum of ten grand, Roderick performed beyond expectations. Because of this, Bricabrac delivered the money on time. Using the same method, Bricabrac managed to bribe the other team members to perform.  
  
Bricabrac understood the minds of the Preppies. Only two things drove them to succeed: the promise of success, and the promise of exorbitant sums of money. Bricabrac played their weaknesses beautifully, and within no time, the Preppies would have been ready to become an NFL Team. But Bricabrac stated 'ACME Bowl now, NFL later, Acme Loo...NEVER!'  
  
"Now drop down and give me sixty!"  
  
The Preppies did so, and within two minutes they were done.  
  
"You're slowin' down, boys. You disappoint me. And I'll be damned if I have to deal with slackers! Put some muscle into it! Danforth, twenty laps around the field, NOW!"  
  
"Sir, yes sir!"  
  
Danforth then did his running while the others drilled on Bricabrac's tactics, formulated from years of battle service and anguish.  
  
"Nice throw, Roderick! Keep that stomach in! Don't want any slackers here! GET MOVING!"  
  
By now, undoubtedly, the Preppies believed that Bricabrac was a drill sergeant, not a general. But that's a common steryotype.  
  
---  
  
Homicide was perched on a high structure so he could easily see both Acme Loo and Perfecto Prep. He was wondering how anyone could derive enjoyment from such a mindless activity. Now, Tournament Deathmatches...THERE was a good time.  
  
"They seem to be driven by an insatiable lust for power. Perhaps I need to break their spirits before I can break her's...but how?"  
  
Homicide pondered this at several billion operations per second, but was unable to find an answer.  
  
"Hmm...I think I'll wait on them. I have more pressing concerns."  
  
Homicide then checked his statistics for the last month or two. He was startled to find that his accuracy, agility, and velocity had decreased a measure over time.  
  
"Only 3/4 of a mile, give or take 2 yards? I am out of shape! Perhaps I should practice a bit...but I'll also need a spy. But who?"  
  
Homicide looked around. Roderick? Nah, too greedy. Bricabrac? No, he had a restraining order. He could still be a useful asset... Rubella? No, that'd only increase their guard. Bugs? No, that'd be TOO much trouble.  
  
Then Homicide spotted her. His computers registered a fox, built like a grown woman. It identified her as Camery or Camry Curvaceous. She also had a mind that could be easily twisted...or dramatized.  
  
"Bingo."  
  
---  
  
Camery walked down the street, remembering to use her sexy walk. She heard thuds all over as jaws dropped, and springs popping as eyes shot out and bounced around. She rounded a corner, and was startled to find herself in the middle of a sewer.  
  
"Hey! Who's writing this anyway?!"  
  
Enter Mr. A of the IRS.  
  
"Excuse me, Camery, but the author has informed me that you can't question this. However, he will alter the scene to make it a bit more believable. Any more complaints, and you'll be ten million poorer."  
  
Exit Mr. A of the IRS.  
  
"What a strange man. Oh well...hmm, this alley might make a good hideout..."  
  
As Camery walked through, she little realized she was being watched.  
  
She walked cautiously through the filth, trying her hardest not to get her tail or feet dirty but not doing a very good job. Suddenly, she felt a cold chill go by.  
  
"Hmm...ah, screw it."  
  
She continued. Another chill, and now paranoia started to set in. She turned around, but saw nothing behind her. She continued down the alley, and suddenly felt a hand grasp her shoulder.  
  
"So we meet, Camery..."  
  
Camery turned around to see a human cyborg. His right arm, both legs, and his right eye (which looked suspiciously similar to the eye piece people use to determine the quality of gold) were robotic, and a silvery sheen were given off by the mettalic parts. He also had a gun, but larger than most pistols she had seen, but not big enough to be a rifle. Who was this guy?  
  
"Alright, what do you want with me?"  
  
"Perhaps my entry was a bit too hasty, but I have business to discuss."  
  
The cyborg approached her closer, and Camery realized that the cyborg towered over her by almost three feet.  
  
"I am CA-T1. Code-name: Homicide."  
  
"Alright, what's the business you want to 'discuss?'"  
  
"Not much. I just see you as a tool I can use...you know Acme Looniversity, I assume?"  
  
"Know it?! Do you realize who I am?!"  
  
"My files indicate that you are Camery Curvacious, a humanoid fox with exaggerated physical features and a twisted mind, and who claims to be the most evil person in Acme Acres. Cute, in a way...but do you have the credentials to prove it?"  
  
"I have gone after Bugs Bunny himself! I have tried to rid myself of female competition! I rule an empire!"  
  
"Your 'empire,' as you call it, is nothing more than a series of lairs, either destroyed or undiscovered. MY empire, on the other hand, is far greater, and is far more diverse. Of course, why should I go on? Let me get to the point: I need you for my plans."  
  
Camery then gave Homicide an evil look, as if to say she were readying a giant mallet to bring down upon her hapless victim.  
  
"You need me?! I don't think so! No one can have me, I was born to be free!"  
  
"Freedom is nothing more than the independence of one to take their own actions. Your 'freedom' is nothing more than cover for your evil activities. You have grown weak from hardship, you long for revenge you cannot possibly accomplish! However, I may be able to satisfy your need for blood. You do know someone called Lola Bunny, right?"  
  
"Yes, I do. She's going down, when I'm through with her!"  
  
"You're only half right. She is going down...but by MY hands."  
  
"Then what do you need me for, if you're going to do all the dirty work?"  
  
"I want you to spy on Lola, get all the information you can on her weaknesses and strengths."  
  
"And what do I get in return?"  
  
"The satisfaction that she'll be dead within a month in your time, and the opportunity to take down Bugs yourself."  
  
Homicide stretched his right hand out as if to say he were going to shake Camery's hand.  
  
"Do we have ourselves a deal?"  
  
Camery considered what Homicide had said. Then she slowly grasped the cold steel hand.  
  
"Deal."  
  
"Good. Now, go find her, and begin your mission. And remember...I will not tolerate failiure..."  
  
---  
  
As second period got underway, Buster and Babs were walking down the hall, dismal as ever. As they walked by, they were oblivious to their audience...that is, until a stage hand directed their attention toward the audience.  
  
"Wha...oh, hiya toonsters! I'm Buster Bunny!"  
  
"And I'm Babs Bunny!"  
  
"No relation."  
  
Oh, c'mon, that's just SO cliche!  
  
"Who're you to talk?"  
  
Babs quickly did a spin change...into Kenneth Starr.  
  
"Alright, I'm gonna impeach you!"  
  
Wha-wha-WHAT?!  
  
"Psst, Babs?"  
  
"Yeah blue boy?"  
  
"ROPE IT IN!!"  
  
"Hey! Not so loud! You'll wake up that...that man!"  
  
Suddenly, a Southern man in traditional mansion-owner clothes with traditional mint julip in hand, waltzed out of a series of nearby lockers.  
  
"Suh, I say suh, you have insulted me! I propose a draw, suh, and I propose it now. So suh, we shall meet on the field of honor!"  
  
Babs did another spin change, into an Australian.  
  
"Rule one: no pooftas!"  
  
Enter Mr. A of the IRS.  
  
"I represent the cast of Monty Python, and they have informed me that if you use any line without their consent, you'll be dragged away by a random group."  
  
"A random group?"  
  
Enter the Spanish Inquisition.  
  
"THE SPANISH INQUISITION?!"  
  
"NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!! Our chief weapon is surprise, that's all! Just surprise..."  
  
"What about fear?"  
  
"Oh, alright, surprise AND fear."  
  
"And a fanatical..."  
  
"SHUT UP!"  
  
"Sorry..."  
  
"Anyway...Biggles...GET...THE SOFT NYLON CORD!"  
  
Exit Mr. A of the IRS. Enter a really long rope.  
  
"Yaagh! Hey, what's the big idea, Cardinal?!"  
  
"We have decided to put you through most excrutiating tortures!"  
  
"You can't do this to me! I'm an American citizen!!"  
  
"A what? What's an 'American?'"  
  
"D'oh!"  
  
Enter Vicki Fox, with Mike Russell with her.  
  
"Stop that, she's Christian already!"  
  
"Can you prove it, er...whatever you are?"  
  
"I can. Just follow Mike here, and he'll show you to the Pope."  
  
"THE POPE?!"  
  
Re-enter Mr. A of the IRS.  
  
"I'm afraid that this has gone too far, and that I have to arrest everybody."  
  
"SAY WHAT?!"  
  
Exit Mr. A of the IRS. Enter a bunch of steel cages.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"  
  
While the Spanish Inquisition and the Southerner tried to free themselves from their cages, Buster and Babs continued to walk down the hall (after saying goodbye to Mike and Vicki, of course).  
  
"Business as usual, I guess."  
  
"Yeah *sigh* but it beats having to sit through those Musical Depreciation classes!"  
  
"I know, Babs. It's a horror, having to sit through every song Spike Jones wrote, and listening to them over and over and over again...sure, it was fun when we began, but wouldn't YOU get irritated when you hear 'Pass The Biscuits' 9000 times?!"  
  
And so, they trudged down the hall. But in the distance, Camery was walking silently around the campus, trying to find Lola where she was, and what her weaknesses were. She also held a camera in her hands, just in case she spotted something noteworthy.  
  
She made her way to the gym, the first place she would look. She crept along with minimum noise and exposure, lying in wait. Then she spotted Lola, heading towards the locker room. She crawled along the ground in silent pursuit of Lola. Then Lola went into the showers, and Camery stood outside, waiting to pounce. She waited, and waited, then shot out...and immediately froze.  
  
"Ack!"  
  
There was Lola, showering in the nude (well of course! It wouldn't be right to shower in your clothes!). Camery was shell-shocked, seeing her prey in such a way. She knew she had to be intimate, but not THAT intimate! She accidentally dropped the camera, which took a picture upon hitting the ground. But before Lola could spot her, Camery grabbed the camera and dashed out.  
  
"Hmmm, that's odd...I could swear someone was watching me...oh well...hmmm? HEY! GET THAT CAMERA OUT OF MY FACE!! SWITCH VIEWPOINTS, YOU -BLEEP!-!!!!"  
  
*CRASH BANG WHAP BOOM BLEEP CRASH KABLOOOEY!!*  
  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  
  
---  
  
*Whew!* That was close! Nearly got pulverized! Thanks a lot, ya bloody crazies!  
  
Anyway, let's get back to our story, ay what?  
  
Camery approached the abandoned building Homicide was using as his H.Q. She had taken many pictures of Lola and her "weaknesses," and except for her mistaken exposure, it went pretty uneventfully.  
  
She got to the door, and spotted a control panel. She placed her paw on it, activating the system.  
  
"State your I.D. and password."  
  
"Camery Curvaceous, Uruguay Express."  
  
"Password accepted. Welcome, Camery."  
  
Camery walked in, then rode the elevator to the top. Looks were certainly deceiving in this case. The structure was actually quite durable, and a multitude of machinery peppered the walls and floors. Finally, she reached the top. The doors opened, and there was Homicide.  
  
"Report, follower."  
  
"I bring photographical evidence of her weaknesses."  
  
Homicide turned around, revealing his robotic/human face. He walked toward Camery, and stopped in front of her.  
  
"Has this evidence been developed?"  
  
"Yes, Homicide. Here."  
  
Camery handed him the pictures, making sure they were all there. Then she paled. She left the shower picture in there! But Camery couldn't do anything about it, not here.  
  
Homicide flipped through, and found that these weren't pictures of her weaknesses, but in average postures! And even worse, gaudy fashion shots! Homicide was fuming, and was about to strike Camery on the next picture.  
  
And then the shower picture turned up.  
  
Homicide's eyes widened and his face stiffened. Then he turned up from the pictures and looked at Camery. She feared the worst, and so looked as stiff and formal as she could. But to her surprise, he just smiled at her.  
  
"I'll let you skate this time, Camery...although I would like to know how you managed to get that shower shot."  
  
Homicide then walked away, leaving Camery in a stunned gaze. She continued to stare in disbelief for well over an hour. Then she snapped out of it, and decided to be more devious in her ways...  
  
***  
  
Well, so far, so good. As I said, there was a slight blur between TTA and TTBS here. If any reader has been offended, I sincerely apologize for this action. However, there is a maxim that helps: It's not what you see that makes it sexy, it's what remains covered that does so.  
  
And if I do another shower scene, somebody please slap me.  
  
*SLAP!*  
  
Hey! Not yet! MAKEUP!!  
  
***  
  
Oh, one more thing: sketch art should be sent to my address if you need it approved for use in tandem with my story. This includes all sketches involving characters I have made. Nothing over an R-rating (no nudity, blood/violence somewhat-OK, profanity can be discussed) is accepted. Please include a description in your e-mail. .gif and .jpg formats are accepted. No bitmaps need apply. 


	4. Wine Doth Taste of Bittersweet

VIOLATION  
  
As written by Razorback Jack (glendarl@worldnet.att.net)  
  
TTA characters (c) Warner Brothers/Amblim Ent. 2000  
LT characters (c) Warner Brothers 2000  
Heavy Gear characters/equipment (c) Activision 2000  
Unreal Tournament (c) Epic Megagames/GT Interactive 2000  
Third-party characters (c) their creators 2000  
Any new character added into this story is either one I have created or one created with the consent of the party representing the character.  
All characters/products are the sole property of their owners.  
  
***  
  
OK, now that we've had some time to get Homicide a bit more used to his environment, let's focus in on some of the other areas...well, maybe. Who knows? I'm flying by the seat of my pants here!  
  
***  
  
Chapter 4: Wine Doth Taste Of Bittersweet  
  
Lola was getting ready for the night. She was looking through her selections of evening gowns to see which one would look best with her fur. After all, it was a grand event when she and Bugs were invited to a major social event.  
  
She finally settled on a sparkling blue evening gown with matching high heels (size 12 wide ;-). She was about to walk out the room when Jessica came running in.  
  
"AAAAAAA!! He's after me, he's after me!!"  
  
Jessica practically pinned Lola to the floor, screaming like she had seen a ghost.  
  
"Whoa, calm down! Now, who's going after you?"  
  
"It's him again! Him!"  
  
"Who? Who?!"  
  
Then the shadow came. It grew and grew. A chainsaw could be clearly heard revving up as the silhouette grew and grew. And then...HE came!  
  
"Ach, guttentag! Time to get der cotton, ja? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"  
  
"Dr. Glentropy?! Jessica, you know better than to let THAT quack chase you!"  
  
"I'm sorry, I was weak...he ambushed me..."  
  
"Ach, ja! Just like Der Desert Fox did ven ve vere in North Afrika, ja?"  
  
"Look, Doctor, you've GOT to stop chasing Jessica around! She's only a kid!"  
  
"Vould it be any better if I vere to chase YOU instead?"  
  
"Well...er...no, probably not."  
  
"Zen consider yourself looky, Lola. I vill return!"  
  
Dr. Glentropy rushed out, and carved up a section of wall. Now Bugs was walking up in his flashy tuxedo (AGH! My eyes!).  
  
"Y'know, I'd wish he'd stop doing dat. Does he realize how EXPENSIVE it is ta repair walls dese days?"  
  
"Hey, relax, it could have been worse..."  
  
"Oh? How?"  
  
"It could have been Sam Starfall..."  
  
Suddenly, a blue-space-suited guy walked out of a door, accompanied by a somewhat spherical robot with binocular eyes and four legs.  
  
"Uh, is that a compliment?"  
  
"How should I know, Sam? You know more about this place than I do!"  
  
"Nonsense! I won't let my ignorance stop me, Helix! Now, where'd we put the "Flying Chicken?"  
  
"Uh, doc?"  
  
"Yes, what is it?"  
  
"Look, I know you're lost, but we've been having a rough day here!"  
  
"Hmm...I'll get Florence over here...hey, Helix! What're you doing with that missile?!"  
  
"Wow! A missile! Wouldn't it be cool if we blew up a major building?!"  
  
"You realize that's dangerous, and we could get arrested again."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Sounds fun! Let's go!"  
  
The door slammed shut, and now Sam and Helix were probably doing something incredibly stupid. Just like you would think Sam Starfall would do.  
  
"Y'know, I tink I'd better talk wit Mark up dere...he's GOT ta stop sending dat guy over here!"  
  
---  
  
Meanwhile, another world beckoned to Homicide. A spaceship barrelled through a black void accompanied by two escort fighters. On the top, Homicide stood, waiting for his opponent to arrive.  
  
"Xan, you coward! Come meet yer maker!"  
  
Homicide was yelling in a drill sergeant voice, different from his normal robo-philosophical style. Suddenly, bullets flew by and hit Homicide. He ran for cover from his opponent...Xan Kriegor!  
  
"You are obsolete!"  
  
Xan unleashed another lead maelstrom upon Homicide, but soon ran out of ammo. When Xan reached for his Shock Rifle, Homicide ran out and fired his Rocket Launcher. Xan exploded into a crimson red splash as the missiles collided with his body. Homicide kept moving, and now issued a taunt.  
  
"Ya like that?"  
  
Homicide ran for the invisibility and sprinted toward the Minigun. Then Xan ran in, firing a Ripper at Homicide's head.  
  
"Witness my perfection!"  
  
At the split second Xan taunted Homicide, Homicide's head flew off his body.  
  
"Ooh, that's gotta hurt!"  
  
Xan was instantly surprised by the pistol blasts to the back.  
  
"Chew on this, Xan!"  
  
Now Homicide exacted revenge, switching to his Shock Rifle. He fired two salvos, but Xan sidestepped away from certain death. Xan soon took out his favorite singer...to the tune of red hot lead. The minigun shot through the walls, but Homicide ran off before Xan could finish him off.  
  
Now Xan was getting impatient. He immediately reached for his Rocket Launcher and started running up and down his spaceship looking for Homicide. He had just finished combing the ship when Homicide ambushed him.  
  
"STAND UP STRAIGHT AND SMILE, PRIVATE!! KILL KILL KILL!!!"  
  
Homicide unleashed a barrage of lead from his minigun and cut Xan to shreads. The match was now over, and Homicide had won. He switched voices back to his normal tone.  
  
"Well, that was certainly amusing. Xan is a worthy opponent, if not eccentric in his beliefs...let's see what the results are...Kilowatt, stats."  
  
Data beamed from Homicide's gun into Homicide's digital processor. He perused the information until he came across his accuracy, firing rate, speed, and respawn ratios.  
  
"Ah, much better now. Perhaps it would be a good time to try a test target...Kilowatt, open communications."  
  
---  
  
Camery was on her bed, reading through a book on spies and spying throughout the ages. She had found quite a bit of useful information, and was now searching for some of the stuff she had seen. But while searching, her phone rang. She quickly fumbled for the phone and picked up the receiver.  
  
"Hello, Camery here."  
  
"This is Homicide. I'm here on business."  
  
"What's your game?"  
  
"I need you to find a test target for my improved skills. Find someone similar to Lola, but with some distinguishing qualities as well."  
  
"No problem, Homicide. I'll have the broad here soon enough."  
  
"I hope so, for your sake...you don't want to be on the wrong edge of my Pulse Gun..."  
  
*click*  
  
Camery put down the phone and let out a heavy sigh. This wasn't going exactly as she had planned. Why was Homicide even bothering with a test target? She knew he had the accuracy...still, when Homicide wanted something, she had to deliver, or else. She soon began looking through the telephone book...  
  
---  
  
Around 8 pm, the big social event (a Stan Freeberg musical) was drawing near. Everybody who was anybody in Acme Acres was in attendence. Even the Speilbergs were there (though they told the press not to mention them), and Stan Freeberg himself was leading the musical.  
  
Just about everyone was there...the TTA gang, Daffy (who only elicited laughter when he managed to crash into Elmer Fudd's Edsel, and then get blasted to bits), Monty (who was trying to bribe Stan Freeberg into becoming his personal humor analyst), even a tiny mouse family (with a suspiciously familiar red-shirted mouse with a blue hat).  
  
And then Bugs' sleek limo came streaming in front of the theater. Everyone applauded (the Speilbergs excepted) as Bugs, Lola, and Jessica came walking out in their snappy outfits.  
  
*SNAP!*  
  
Ow! I thought they banned pirahna suits! Where's my lawyer?!  
  
*ahem*  
  
Anyway, as they were walking down the red carpet, their limousine drove away, upon hearing an awful lot of revving. Unfortunately, it was no bike gang...it was a group called...THE ALTER-EGOS!!  
  
"ROAD TRIP!!"  
  
"Oh no, not DEM again!"  
  
A psychadelic car crashed into the pavement, followed by an ambulence, a limo, an M-1 Abrahms Tank, a black BMW, a plaid car, and a police car. Then, out stepped the Alter-Egos, according to vehicle: the Stupid Brothers (Lyin' and Lee), Dr. Glentropy, the Southerner, General Spitz Bricabrac, Mr. A of the IRS, the Angry Scotsman, and the Inspector with his assistant Whatshisname. Hmm, try saying all THAT in one breath!  
  
They all walked along the path, and promptly tripped the carpet into the theater, with the Bunny family in tow. By the time they were scrapped off the pavement, Bugs was getting seriously perterbed.  
  
"Geez, who invited DOSE creeps?!"  
  
He suddenly eyed Monty, who had hastily hid a clipboard and some envelopes, and was busy whistling his fears away.  
  
"Heh! Shoulda known..."  
  
---  
  
While the performance was in full swing, a thunderstorm brewed to the west. Rain began to fall liberally, then more gradual, until finally it was practically pouring. Lighting flashed and thunder crackled through the night sky. Lights flickered on and off as the electric ballet coarsed through the air. Walking home in this kind of weather would be madness. Only one so foolhardy as to brave the trecharous flow could muster the coordination. And that one was a rabbit by the name of Trinity (who bears a striking resemblence to Trinity of the Matrix, the only difference being her species is rabbit, and her body resembles Lola Bunny's body, but the clothes are from the Matrix).  
  
Trinity silently cursed as she fell into a puddle. As she got up, she could hear a slight humming noise through the clatter of the storm. But slowly, it grew louder and louder. She turned.  
  
"Die..."  
  
Homicide leaped out of the alley and pounced on Trinity, who barely had time to jump out. Homicide started firing rounds, but Trinity dodged with amazing speed. She then jumped up onto the top of the building above. Homicide gave chase, and soon a maddening roof-to-roof chase ensued. They jumped across seemingly impossible distances, and suddenly Trinity went down to ground level again. Still, Homicide followed from the rooftops as she ran and ran.  
  
She suddenly spotted a telephone booth. Her main method of escape, apparently. Go figure, eh?  
  
Anyway, she ran toward it, breathing heavily and sopping wet. Suddenly, Homicide jumped down, his robotic eye targeting his victim. Their eyes met briefly for a single moment. He could feel the fear in her. Her anguish could only be magnified when he raised his gun. He smiled. She hesitated...  
  
A string of staccato blasts rang out through the night sky. Trinity fell to the ground, her wounds overwhelming her body. Her eyes paled as the blood began to trickle out of her. Homicide kneeled down beside her, sizing up his defeated quarry. His solemnity was replaced by a wry grin. As he walked off into the darkness, he muttered but one word...  
  
"Excellent..."  
  
And he was gone.  
  
***  
  
As always, please e-mail me for comments and ideas. Criticism is accepted, so long as it is more or less constructive. Any requests for artwork concerning the story should be addressed to the proper people. As for artists wishing to do artwork involving the story, please consult me first, but keep in mind it must stay within a certain rating, and no nudity. 


	5. The Dawning Turmoil

VIOLATION  
  
As written by Razorback Jack (glendarl@worldnet.att.net)  
  
TTA characters (c) Warner Brothers/Amblim Ent. 2000  
LT characters (c) Warner Brothers 2000  
Any new character added into this story is either one I have created or one created with the consent of the party representing the character.  
All characters/products are the sole property of their owners.  
Rated R: Language, violence  
  
***  
  
In our last chapter, Homicide claimed his first victim, a rabbit named Trinity. Now, let's see what comes up next...  
  
***  
  
Chapter 5: The Dawning Turmoil  
  
It was dawn. The rain had sputtered out moments before, and the rosy light of the sun began to peek out of the dark. A slight rainbow formed to the east, while the light began illuminating the soon-to-be busy town of Acme Acres. The light danced on the puddles as the early birds went looking for their worms, which had been driven to the surface by the rain.  
  
In a back alley of the city, a local bar and grill began stocking for the day's latecomers, the bums and the rednecks from afar. Two employees helped load up the bar from the back door.  
  
"Hey, Vinnie, you got that end?"  
  
"Yeah, I got it, Lou. You wanna make somethin' of it?"  
  
"Nah, I've got enough troubles already...huh?"  
  
Louis looked down the street and spotted what appeared to be someone in leather.  
  
"Hey, Vinnie, look over there..."  
  
"So it's a buncha leather. So what?"  
  
"Ya ever seen leather sprout ears before?"  
  
"Wha?!"  
  
Suddenly, Vinnie realized what Louie realized: there was someone over there. Louie, somewhat unconcerned, went to check while Vinnie continued loading.  
  
"Geez, look at that...looks like someone OD'd last night...waitaminute...blood?"  
  
Louie looked down over the body and lifted the head. He saw Trinity's face, blood dripping from her mouth.  
  
"Jeezus...VINNIE! Call the cops! We've got a dead one 'ere!"  
  
***  
  
7:30 a.m.  
  
The police had arrived at the alley behind the Acme Acres Bar and Grill to take a look at this startling crime. Naturally, the Inspector and Whatshisname were there on the spot, but when they were dealing with a case of this nature, they handled it more seriously than at other times. Murder wasn't common in Acme Acres. Many assumed toons couldn't be killed.  
  
The Inspector knew otherwise.  
  
"Could you repeat your statement?"  
  
"Alright...I found the body when Vinnie and I was busy loadin' up for today's crowd. I noticed the body, thinkin' it was someone who'd overdosed on quack cocaine or somethin'. Next thing I know, I see blood all over, and this dead girl on the floor...what a world we live in, eh?"  
  
"Hmm...thank you for your testimony. We'll continue looking at this murder from here. I'm not too sure who did it...the footprints were not made for a human foot..."  
  
"Footprints? What footprints were there besides hers and my own?"  
  
"There was a third set...it appeared in front of that telephone booth. But they weren't human...they seemed...robotic..."  
  
***  
  
Up in the structure where Homicide had made his headquarters, he reviewed his data from the encounter the last night. The microprocessor in his brain was checking through the various data concerning the execution of his plan. He heard the door behind him open.  
  
"Camery, is it? Come in, if you wish."  
  
Camery did so, though she had an acute sense of foreboding as she approached her master. Homicide turned to face her. At first, his face was stern, solid, almost stone-like. But she noticed the rudiments of a grin creep up on him.  
  
"Wonderful job. That target you picked was pure genius. She actually posed a challenge to me. Not like some of those OTHER rabbits in town..."  
  
"Wha...oh, you mean Trinity? Well, she's been a bit of an enemy ever since I came to this city. I figured if anyone deserved to be brutally murdered in cold blood by a cyborg assassin from another plane of existance, I figured it was her!"  
  
Homicide raised an eyebrow at Camery's almost comical description.  
  
"I almost THOUGHT you were a serious criminal and not some ditzy teenager..."  
  
"What, can't you take sarcasm?"  
  
"Camery, now is not the time for that. I must be quick to kill Lola."  
  
Homicide looked outside, toward Acme Acres, where the city was now alive with vibrant color and sound. He looked closer at Acme Loo, with its distinctive bell tower and structure. He pondered the situation facing him as Camery stood by.  
  
"Somehow...I have a feeling that perhaps killing Lola outright isn't going to do...it's too sudden..."  
  
Camery started to feel more afraid. It wasn't like her to feel this way, so she violently shook her head. One almost doubted it could even stay on her neck, she shook her head so hard. Homicide turned to her, having heard the rattling of brains. She stopped shaking once she saw Homicide looking at her, and she stood as straight as a stick.  
  
"Hmm...am I intimidating you THAT much?"  
  
A smile started to creep over Homicide's face, and he turned toward Camery. Homicide moved toward Camery, and sweat started to roll down her brow. He pulled out a knife, a combat knife, and twirled it around some, almost with an evil playfulness that was magnified by his devilish grin. She dared not move, her anxiety reaching the boiling point. Her face paled as her pulse quickened with her breath.  
  
"Perhaps then I can...solve, your problem."  
  
He then moved the knife ever so slowly toward Camery's eye. The steel moved closer and closer to her eye, and now her heart was almost palpitating. It was soon within a millimeter of her eye. One false move and she'd be blinded in one eye. Her mind was totally scrambling, and she swore she heard scratchy violins playing harsh, sharp notes in her mind. She then noticed the knife moving downard, toward her muzzle. She froze as he brushed the knife against her teeth.  
  
"Well, shall it be a tooth for a tooth...or an eye for an eye...or...perhaps even worse?"  
  
Homicide let loose a cry of anger, and raised the knife to place it into Camery's skull. She shrieked in horror, and closed her eyes and cowered, or even fell on the floor. She waited...and waited...and waited...no sound of slicing metal, nor the cracking of bone. She opened her eyes, her breath heavy. Then she heard it...  
  
Snickering?  
  
She looked at Homicide. He had a sly grin, and the knife didn't have any marks on it. He soon began laughing out loud, and put the knife away.  
  
"You...you..."  
  
Camery could feel anger whelling up in her. Her face began to turn beet read, even though she wasn't a vegetable at all. The last time it turned that red was when she was caught naked in the shower by the Acme Loo Varsity Team...  
  
"HEY!! ONE MORE CRACK LIKE THAT AND I'LL GUT YOU! ON NATIONAL TELEVISION!!!"  
  
...eep...  
  
Homicide merely looked at Camery's reddened face with his usual devilish grin.  
  
"To quote yourself, Camery: 'What, can't you take sarcasm?'"  
  
He then walked off, still laughing. That did it for Camery. She lunged for Homicide, claws extended and jaw open. She almost landed on him, when a hand suddenly shot out, grabbed her in air, and threw her over Homicide's shoulder. She was visibly dazed, and Homicide merely shrugged off her attack. She straightened her bent back as best she could and stood up, albeit dizzily.  
  
"What the...how...h-how did you..."  
  
"Camery...there's a key to this problem. I am a cyborg, you are not. Try and know your own limitations before you act...otherwise, you'll probably end up in a gutter somewhere..."  
  
Homicide then walked off to look out the window. Camery brushed off the dust and eyed Homicide with suspicion. She thought about Homicide's little "joke," and then began wondering why he had such a demonic sense of humor. She then began wondering if he was more demonic than he seemed...  
  
***  
  
It was noon at the offices of the Acme Acres Media Establishment (AAME). The writers were in a frenzy to cover this shocking murder. As it happened, the last murder that had taken place sometime back in the fourties, in a surrogate city separate from all toon cities, known as Toon Town. As it happened, it involved a certain Edward Valient...but that's another movie, so I'll leave you to rent it.  
  
As it happened, the media frenzy occured on the same day Adam Fox came in for an interview. After a brief interview, they slapped a fedora with a press card in it and threw him at a desk...head first. The crack of bones drew some attention, mostly from copy boys. But other than that, no one else paid any attention to the pile of fur, wood, and magazines that lay where a desk had been just seconds ago.  
  
Suddenly, an Angry Scotsman, in fact, THE Angry Scotsman, shot out from his office.  
  
"Hodgedogs! Canna you blind jackals pay any ATTENTION?! There's a body 'ere, and no o' you pasty-rumped wimps wer' even tryin' to 'elp the lad! Och, what's this bloody world comin' to?!"  
  
The Scotsman then pulled on the tail sticking straight out of the rubble. He pulled a little too hard, and Adam flew out of the rubble...and hit the ceiling with a sickening splat.  
  
"Ewww...fox on th' roof. I 'ate it when tha' happens, I tells ya!"  
  
He then took a crowbar, and pulled Adam down. His frazzled face was stiff as a rock. The Scotsman simply shook him out like a rag, folded him up, and hoped no one representing the Far-Sighted Wrestlers League waltzed in. He then unfolded Adam and hung him on a clothesline.  
  
"Uh, hey, sir? Could you get me down?"  
  
"Wha? Yer already back t' normal?! I'm still surprised that someone can recover so quickly!"  
  
The Angry Scotsman then took down Adam, and flapped him out. Adam soon reverted to his normal self, despite the fact that he had a chuck of wood sticking out of the small of his back.  
  
"Y' sure yer OK, laddie?"  
  
"I'm fine, Mr...uh..."  
  
"Please. I'm the Angry Scotsman!"  
  
"The...Angry...Scotsman?"  
  
"Yup! An' if THA' weren' enough, I also look like one!"  
  
"Er...yeah...anyway, can you help me get a new desk? I hate having to do my work on the floor..."  
  
"No problem, laddie! Why, I'll tell those crazy parthenai to send it by..."  
  
"Parthenai?"  
  
"It's a Greek term, lad. I say it 'cause I donna wanna use th' 'B' word..."  
  
"The 'B' word."  
  
"Y'know...th' 'B' word..."  
  
"Like Colleen?"  
  
"WHAT?! Donna be silly, lad! Why, she donna even QUALIFY for tha' word! She be a stuck-up little British scalawag! Why, she donna even know wha' a GLENGARRY is!"  
  
Suddenly, Colleen flew through the window and karate-chopped the Angry Scotsman against the opposite wall. He responded by straightening his cap (or a plaid beret with a small ball of red cotton on top) and his kilt and whipping up his cane like club.  
  
"Och, missy, ya gone an' done it now! I've 'ad too moch t' bear, with your insultin' my 'omeland, dear Scotland!"  
  
"Cricky, just shove a sock in it! I've 'ad it with your 'I am better than thou' attitude! You Scotsmen think you're so high an' mighty! It's bloody 'ell, I tell you!"  
  
"Och, who are YOU t' say tha' I'm some crazy man with a shelalah?! I says you got no respect for us! Why, look wha' you crazy Brits did to Ireland! You're no better than those Iraqi dogs!"  
  
"Fancy being told that by a man in a skirt..."  
  
"WHA'?! Tha's IT, missy! This is a kilt! A KILT!! An' now, since you've just ridiculed th' entire nation of Scotland, you're gonna get KILT!"  
  
With that, the Angry Scotsman let out a roar of anger and his cane suddenly revealed itself as a shelalah. Whirling it in the air, he lunged at Colleen, and the ensuing catfight (no pun intended) caused such an uproar it made the newspaper...Adam had obviously found a story worth mentioning, although he wasn't sure how it'd end. He got an answer, though: the fighters eventually shot out of the window and into the traffic five stories below.  
  
***  
  
1:36 p.m.  
  
The hospital where Dr. Glentropy worked was always as busy as ever. Most of the occupants were villains and unfortunate toons who had been in the extreme misfortune to fall victim to a bewildering number of accidents and crimes. Many would recuperate within days, sometimes weeks. The more serious cases could be in for months at a time.  
  
However, there was one room in the hospital, rarely used. In fact, the last time it had been used was during the Cloverleaf incident of 1947. A fateful year, the same year Marvin Acme was snuffed. Oddly, the D.A. decided to turn it over to the toon doctors and let them take a look. At the time, the toons discovered a way to match specific types of ink to their respective toons. The cartoon equivalent of fingerprinting was used quite effectively to prove that Marvin Acme had in fact been killed by Judge Doom.  
  
But now, more than 50 years later, the room once again rose to life. The autopsy room was always a foreboding sight to a toon, even one in the medical profession. Dr. Glentropy swallowed hard and entered. The body of Trinity was laid flat on the examination table, stripped of the clothes to be used as evidence in case they could find a culprit. Dr. Glentropy was stricken by the beauty of the deceased, despite her background as a rebel.  
  
The doctors congregated around the table and began the procedure. Layer by layer, Trinity's body was searched and examined. The entry and exit points of the fatal bullets were noted with grim detail. The coloration of the fur, the DNA code of the blood, the distribution of lead, and the bullets themselves. As Dr. Glentropy pulled out one of the bullets, he noticed something off.  
  
The bullet was longer than any he'd ever seen. Similar to a round taken from an AK-74, but slightly longer. There also appeared to be more than one point, with four smaller points protruding from the base of the bullet. The points were designed to fit into a gun barrel used for 7.74 NATO standard assault rifle rounds. However, this odd new bullet variation puzzled him. No gun in existence had a bullet like this, and even if there were, he doubted that the inventor would have wanted to kill an innocent rabbit.  
  
Something was suspicious about the whole setup...flash forward a few hours, to about 5:52 p.m.  
  
"So, what you're saying is that this is a round more powerful than that fired by an AK-74?"  
  
"I'm positive. With a bullet that shape, it would be possible to kill someone with a single head shot from a modified assault rifle. Normal rounds would leave the target alive for at least a few seconds. With this round, the target's dead instantaneously."  
  
"Deep. Very deep..."  
  
The Inspector set his violin case down on his seat and looked out the window.  
  
"We're gonna have to make this public eventually. In a town of at least six million toons, who knows what this maniac will do? Besides, if we don't make it public, the AAME will."  
  
"Mr. A of the IRS stopped by earlier. I hear he's compiling the autopsy report right now."  
  
"He'd do that. He's a lawyer. Kinda makes you sick..."  
  
The Inspector's Assistant, Whatshisname, entered soon afterwards.  
  
"Inspector? Mr. A is here."  
  
"Show him in. We've got business to sort out."  
  
The Inspector turned back to his chair, then at Dr. Glentropy. Dr. Glentropy merely gave the Inspector the same look he'd given him when he found out about the murder. The Inspector plopped down on his chair, taking care not to break his fragile violin case. He took it out from behind him and placed it on his desk. It was going to be a long day...  
  
***  
  
8:22 p.m.  
  
Homicide was poised to strike again. He loaded his gun with his special nanolathe clip. He then connected the miniature fusion cartridge into a side opening. His gun needed a good deal of power to run the nanolathe clip. He invented the fusion cartridge for such purposes. The door behind him opened.  
  
"Come in, minion."  
  
Camery stood still as Homicide finished loading his weapon and calibrating his targeting system. He turned to her, his robotic eye blood red, his gun ready to deliver a fatal blow. He merely gave her a wry grin and sat down in a chair he had placed nearby.  
  
"Ah, Camery. I assume you have the next target processed for termination?"  
  
At first, Camery merely stuttered. She was still trying to figure out what Homicide really was, and why he was so evil, so naturally her nerves had run a bit ragged. But she straightened out before she became completely incomprehensible.  
  
"I think I've found one. It's some bunny named Ramona Rabbit. Personally, I think she's a bigger ditz than even BABS is."  
  
"Whether this Ramona is a ditz or not remains to be seen. After all, a target's a target."  
  
Camery hated it when her boss used such insensitive terms. Then again, what would you expect from a callous villain? Still, she had the vaguest feeling he wasn't telling her everything she needed to know. The incident with the knife earlier had cost her a few hairs, but it augmented her idea that perhaps Homicide was more of a villain than she could have imagined just months before...  
  
Homicide looked toward the open window. He walked toward it, his gait one of both grim efficiency and surprising relaxation. He stood in the window, gun in hand, looking for his prey. For a moment, Camery felt as if he was going to jump into the street below.  
  
He didn't.  
  
A fire suddenly shot out from his robotic feet, and he shot up, his body stiff, his head looking toward the sky. Trails of smoke and ash were left behind, and Camery coughed slightly. She wasn't used to such odors. She also wondered why Homicide would use such low-grade fuel. As she saw the by now small dot sail into the inky blackness of night, she could only wonder how this next escapade would end...  
  
***  
  
All comments of this story will be directed either to the TTA-FANFIC Mailing List (if you so happen to be on it and wish to review this little story), or to my personal e-mail address: glendarl@att.net. Thank you for reading this chapter, and hopefully, you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it. 


	6. Publicity and Secrets

VIOLATION  
  
As written by Razorback Jack (glendarl@socal.rr.com)  
  
TTA characters (c) Warner Brothers/Amblim Ent. 2000  
LT characters (c) Warner Brothers 2000  
Any new character added into this story is either one I have created or one created with the consent of the party representing the character.  
All characters/products are the sole property of their owners.  
Rated R: Language, violence, sexual situations  
  
***  
  
Chapter 6: Publicity and Secrets  
  
It was by now 9:13 p.m. at the Police Station. Mr. A of the IRS, the Inspector, Dr. Glentropy, General Bricabrac, and Whatshisname (the Inspector's assistant, in case you didn't know already) had been looking over the extensive autopsy report for a good number of hours. It ran like a criminal investigation, and therefore, coffee was the drink of choice. Dr. Glentropy sipped his while the Inspector continued going into depths about the crime.  
  
"It seems to me that this couldn't be just a random shooting. It seems too well planned to be that way, I'm sure of it."  
  
"I agree. However, consider the erratic nature of the chase. I think that this may have been some sort of attempt to imitate the Matrix "bullet-time" sequences."  
  
"Those would have been just as well planned. We do know that this occurred during a thunderstorm. Most people wouldn't venture outside in that kind of weather. The killer had an opportunity, and he exploited it."  
  
"Speaking as a General, I have to agree. Seems as though we've got ourselves a maniac loose in the city."  
  
"But so far, we only have evidence. We know it points to a suspect, but as it happens, no one in this city has the same kinds of characteristics we have been able to piece together."  
  
The police bulletin broke in over the conversation.  
  
"This is Unit 55, calling all available units, we have a 187 at the corner of Maple and Douglas. Repeat, this is Unit 55, calling for all available units, we have a 187 on the corner of Maple and Douglas."  
  
The Inspector's eyes widened. A 187 was the universal MDK code: Murder Death Kill, it stood for. One of the patrols must have spotted a corpse. The Inspector immediately ran out of the office, closely followed by Whatshisname. The rest adjourned when they realized just what was happening, and quickly dispersed.  
  
***  
  
At the corner of Maple and Douglas St., the body of Ramona Rabbit was found beside her boyfriend. They were pronounced D.O.A. when their bodies reached the Acme Acres City Hospital. That meant two more autopsies, and undeniable proof that a madman was indeed lurking in town.  
  
The trademark five-point bullets were embedded within both of their skulls, resulting in almost instantaneous death. The pattern also indicated the automatic fire that had previously been found in Trinity's body. There was only one thing to do now.  
  
At about 7:05 the next morning, they held an early morning press conference. Dr. Glentropy, Mr. A of the IRS, and the Inspector tried to answer the flurry of questions sure to flow in. They told of the similarities of the crimes, the special extra-fatal bullets, the rapid fire style of bullet dispersal, the details of the crimes...  
  
The AAME had a veritable field day. With these crimes, their newspaper would surely get the top story in before anybody else did. Their writers put in overtime, making sure no detail was missed before it went to the presses. Adam, naturally, was there on the front lines.  
  
Unbeknownst to the reporters, they had a rather unexpected (but unseen) visitor. Homicide had decided to hide himself in the ventilation system. As he watched, he noticed the stern looks on the faces of the Alter-Egos who were there. It wasn't really like them at all, but then again, he had never seen them serious at all before. He also wondered why he was not spotted by any of the occupants. Of course, one reporter DID say that he smelled a faint trace of oil in the air...  
  
***  
  
By the time the news reached Acme Loo, things were already beginning to become dicey. For one thing, the death of Ramona and Trinity, both within days of each other, created a panic among the female students. They began asking themselves: were they next? What could they do to stop this madman? Was this world going insane?  
  
To the latter, I say this: no, that can't be. The world was already insane to begin with!  
  
Some people, of course, would say I'm full of bull. But I'm only the Narrator, so there's nothing they can do about it...  
  
Anyway, classes were tedious for many students, who were expecting sudden death to rain down upon them. The teachers tried to calm down the students as best they could, but when lunch descended into brutal chaos, the teachers cancelled the remainder of the school day and convened in the Lounge.  
  
This, of course, was met with varying degrees of enthusiasm. Buster, Babs, and the others took it upon themselves to go to Weenie Burger with some of the other students and trade jokes. Plucky, once more, was trying (unsuccessfully) to get a date with Shirly, and Fifi was hitting on the male skunks and skunk posers...a bit too hard.  
  
Able DuSable, I understand, was also in the vicinity, but ever since the "Kith" Incident, it's been pretty hard to be sure just what he's going to do next. Personally, I think it doesn't really matter at this point...  
  
Oh, I've gotten a bit off track, haven't I? Well, back on track...Babs hates lulls...  
  
Camry, on the other hand, was thoroughly infuriated. Now she couldn't actually have a legitimate excuse for spying on Lola, and therefore, had to settle for reviewing her collected photographs. A mindboggling and exceedingly dull task, but nonetheless necessary if one was to be successful in the spy business.  
  
As she sorted through the archived photos, she couldn't help but think of at least 600 other places she'd rather be...and that was just on the same longitude.  
  
But sorting pictures can do things to you, like force you to be a bit creative in your approach, or try and find something in every photo. Eventually, she found something less obvious than Lola's taste in clothes: an odd necklace Lola always seemed to wear on formal occasions.  
  
The main jewel on this necklace was diamond, but not like the other jewels on the necklace. It seemed...blue. And somewhat larger than Camery believed Lola could pay for. Something was off about it, but she couldn't put her finger on it...  
  
*Hmm...lesse...it could be anything...could be holding some kinda chemical agent...could be some sort of accursed gem...could be anything! But how do I get a hold of it? She only wears it on formal occasions, so maybe...*  
  
A idea began brewing in her head...she would follow Bugs and Lola to some sort of formal event, then try and take the necklace from her during some sort of crisis. Well, it could work, but she'd need Homicide's approval...no telling how he'd react, in her view. So she mustered her courage and started making her way toward Homicide's hideout...  
  
***  
  
At around this time at Weenieburger, all too familiar voices could be heard at least a block away.  
  
"Aw, c'mon Shirl! I was just plannin' to go to the movies! Why doncha come along and watch 'The Planet of Cannibal Nuns' with me?!"  
  
"Like, gag me with a spoon, Plucky! I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last duck on Earth!"  
  
"Well, that CAN be arranged..."  
  
*ZAP!*  
  
"Well, FINE, if you're gonna be like THAT, I guess I'll just have to watch it alone..."  
  
Plucky then made a smokey exit, completely oblivious to the fact that a white stripe has mysterously appeared down his back...  
  
*WHAM!*  
  
"Oh, m'sieur skunk hunk, 'ou ah've wanted to kees you..."  
  
"Whoa, Fif, you've gotta lay off those aphrodesiacs, I hear they could stunt yer growth!"  
  
Plucky was promptly cut off when Fifi caught him in a vicious sleeper hold and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. Plucky's mind became confused between the fervent kissing, the lack of oxygen, and the sheer embarrassment he was experiencing, and promptly exploded.  
  
*BOOM!*  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! I DON'T WANNA BE COMMITTED!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"  
  
Plucky shot out of the door, followed closely by Fifi. Buster and Babs could only shake their heads.  
  
"Y'know Babs...do you get the feelin' the writers are getting desperate?"  
  
"What do you mean? We've only been off the air for a few years..."  
  
"I meant the FAN writers."  
  
"Oh. Well, now that you mention it, they DO seem to be losing it, aren't they?"  
  
Things only became worse when Fowlmouth made an entrance.  
  
"Alright, who put ******* itching powder in my ******* shoes?! I'll **** the ******* **** who ******* put that **** in my shoes, you hear me, you ********?! **** you all too!!"  
  
"Then again, ever since the censors lifted, Fowlmouth's become more annoying than ever."  
  
"At least THIS author has the sense to use the anvil thuds..."  
  
*THUD!*  
  
Well, at least that takes care of Fowlmouth...I used a real anvil for once.  
  
And the people rejoiced!  
  
"Yay."  
  
Wait a minute, this is getting a little too TTA...this isn't strictly TTA, ya know...  
  
*CRASH!*  
  
AAAA! Run! It's...it's...THE STUPID BROTHERS!!  
  
"Whoahoahoa! Hey, I'm Lee Stupid, and..."  
  
"**** it Lee, I thought that I would be first!"  
  
"Well, go **** yourself, Lyin'!"  
  
Noticing the crowd, they promptly shot gas from their bongs and ran out, leaving their car precariously parked. The Inspector's car soon followed, shooting sparks on the way down. The Inspector stepped out, covered in lasagna.  
  
"I TOLD them the bomb was in the lasagna, but did THEY listen to me?! Noooo, they had to call in those Stupid Brothers to be cooks...now where'd they go!"  
  
Whatshisname suddenly shot out from the soda fountain, covered in something even worse: Disney contracts!  
  
"They went that way! I saw them dropping Disney contracts all over the place!"  
  
"The fiends! Come, Whatshisname, we haven't a moment to lose!"  
  
The two policemen shot off to their car, followed by the sound of bone hitting metal.  
  
"Damn. Hate it when that happens. Okay, OPEN the doors first, THEN get in!"  
  
After correcting themselves, they gunned the car, and promptly exploded into the air, screaming all the way. That left Weenieburger a shambles, and everyone either scorched, crushed, frozen, etc. And that was always the cue to leave at Weenieburger.  
  
***  
  
Homicide reentered his secret compound after the press conference had ended. He was still amazed at how meticulous the police were in describing the crimes. He also began to wonder if it'd be a good idea to switch ammunition for a while. He made a note to use the high-yield mini-rockets during his next run.  
  
Physically and mentally, Homicide was exhausted. Even with the assistance of his rocket pack, he'd still needed to run through several blocks of alley before he spotted his quarry. Even cyborgs needed their rest occasionally. Homicide was getting ready to power down when the computer pinged at him. He sighed, then grumbled, "Enter."  
  
Camry walked in, carrying her photos, when she noticed that Homicide was a bit fatigued. She could level with him on that. Being a criminal didn't mean you never went to sleep. "Oh...this isn't a good time to come in, is it?" Camry asked, a hint of concern disguised in her voice. Over the past few days she'd changed a bit, maybe for better or maybe for worse. "I can come back later..."  
  
"No," he finally muttered. "Come in...I haven't had a good conversation in ages." He sat down in a nearby chair, being surprisingly out of character. Where was the intense evil that had been so visible just the other night? She sat herself down in front of him, not sure whether to pull up a chair or to reinforce the "evil minion" image. Shrugging, she sat down, and spread the pictures in front of her.  
  
"I've seen these before, Camry. I thought you had newer material than this."  
  
"Take a closer look." Camry then pointed to a specific spot on one of the pictures. Homicide's robot eye zoomed in on this spot, the rest of his face tensed in concentration. His face loosened when he saw the necklace.  
  
"Well, it would appear you've found something, Camry. Although I must admit, it certainly took you long enough." He accented the last two words with a slight hint of what could only be described as seductiveness. Camry started feeling uncomfortable again, and stood up.  
  
"I...I think I'll be going now," she said, her nervousness now embarrasingly evident. She turned toward the door...only to feel her get pulled down and toward Homicide. Fear started to trickle down her spine as she felt a hard metal weight press against her stomach.  
  
"Don't be so eager to leave," he whispered. "I have only just begun! Besides...I could use a bed warmer..." He smiled deviously, bringing Camry even closer to himself. Camry just shivered, on the verge of tears. She could only wonder what he would do...no, she did know. She was going to be raped, that had to be it. As she felt the knife start to cut through the fabric of her blouse, she cried softly into Homicide's neck...  
  
"Please..." she forced herself to say, her teeth gritting. "Be gentle with me...master." Homicide smiled once more, licking his lips expectantly...this was going to be fun.  
  
***  
  
Apologies about that last scene: sometimes, you have to take the bull by the horns...  
  
A note to artists: if you are interested in doing some artwork, please contact me first. I will address any concerns you may have, give descriptions if you need them, and perhaps even request a different sketch if the one you give me is either unsatisfactory or just plain wrong. I can understand if you take a lot of time on your drawings, so don't worry about artificial deadlines. Wait until you get to a desk job. ;-) 


	7. A Slip of Paper

VIOLATION  
  
As written by Razorback Jack (glendarl@socal.rr.com)  
  
TTA characters (c) Warner Brothers/Amblim Ent. 2001  
LT characters (c) Warner Brothers 2001  
Any new character added into this story is either one I have created or one created with the consent of the party representing the character.  
All characters/products are the sole property of their owners.  
Rated R: Language, violence, sexual situations  
  
***  
  
And now for a brief apology by the author:  
  
Good day. I have received a bit of negative commentary about the last chapter (Publicity and Secrets) which I had expected. However, what surprised me was that it was more towards the quality of the humor rather than the rape scene at the end. I therefore am trying to figure out why it was the humor that was criticized, but then again I have been unable to write effective TTA humor because it is not weird enough. In fact, it's just plain juvenile in a way. Still, I apologize for the quality of the humor in that chapter, and for any other breeches of good taste. I promise you, there may be more in the future, but I will try and make sure I don't offend anyone. And now for something completely different.  
  
*BOOM!*  
  
***  
  
Chapter 7: A Slip of Paper  
  
Homicide readied himself for what was likely to be a brutal day. He already had quite a substancial body count already, but he was still trying to figure out the most effective way to kill Lola...therefore, he needed plenty of target practice. As he slipped his combat gear on, the sound of sound sleeping could be heard in the room. He turned, and saw the furry body of Camry Curvaceous, wearing only her fur...and a blissful expression on her face.  
  
He smriked slightly. Apparently, she enjoyed it rough, he surmised. What had began as a simple rape had turned into something surprisingly passionate. It also contradicted his evil spirit...but, he felt a twinge of guilt. He shook his head, trying to put his mind on his work instead of on Camry...  
  
Camry, meanwhile, was beginning to wake up, the thoughts of the previous night still fresh in her mind...as she stretched out from her comfortable position, she noticed Homicide leaving. She smiled, saying, "Good morning...going on another hunt, love?"  
  
He stopped. Love...it had been a long time since someone had used that word for him. It felt vaguely...unnatural, in a way. He turned around and looked at her...for the first time, he saw not just a spy, and employee...he saw a living, breathing, sentient being that loved him, even if he was as evil as they come. He turned around, stepping out of the window and firing his jetpack once more.  
  
As Homicide zoomed out into the air, Camry got her bearings and looked for her clothes...or what was left of them, at least. She then noticed a slip of paper, just lying on the floor. She reached over and picked it up...it was a poem by Robert Frost. As she read it, she began to see Homicide in a new light...  
  
The Road Not Taken  
By Robert Frost  
  
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,  
And sorry I could not travel both  
And be one traveler, long I stood  
And looked down one as far as I could  
To where it bent in the undergrowth;  
  
Then took the other, as just as fair,  
And having perhaps the better claim,  
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;  
Though as for that, the passing there  
Had worn them really about the same,  
  
And both that morning equally lay  
In leaves no step had trodden black.  
Oh! I kept the first for another day!  
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,  
I doubted if I should ever come back.  
  
I shall be telling this with a sigh  
Somewhere ages and ages hence:  
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-  
I took the one less traveled by,  
And that has made all the difference.  
  
Camry looked down at the piece of paper. She shed a tear, taking the meaning of the poem in with a heart filled with love and treachery...it wasn't right for her to cry, she knew, but she did all the same. She held it to her breast, sniffling slightly...the realization had finally dawned on her.  
  
She was in love with a madman.  
  
***  
  
All quiet on the Western Front...oops, wrong story! *ahem*  
  
It was quiet in the streets of Acme Acres. Well, quieter than usual, at least. But the relative silence was broken when the sound of many chickens being run over by a car suddenly shot up from a cross-section. Within moments, a car was barrelling down the road at a precarious speed, brimming with psychadelic knick-knacks and hoopla. It careened by a chruch bus, lightly tipping it over as it then shot through a building. All the while, a police car was chasing it madly.  
  
"STOP! STOP, OR MY MOTHER WILL SHOOT!!"  
  
"Why Inspector!" Whatshisname quietly said. "I didn't know you had a mother!"  
  
"I don't," retorted the Inspector, leaning out the driver's side window. "It's just a catch phrase." He then put the pedal to the metal, in time to catch a glimpse of a collision...between the Stupid Brother's car and a certain green duck. The duck came down as a rotisserie duck, which the Inspector ran over as well. Amazingly, the duck reformed...just in time to get involved in a third collision, this time at the hands of...Fifi.  
  
"Mon dieu! Oh, did moi 'urt mah precious skunk hunk, no?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Zut alores! (I do not know why moi said that, eet just sounded right, no?) Is mah skunk hunk dead?"  
  
Quote the Plucky: "I'm not dead yet!" *THUD*  
  
Back at the chase scene, the Inspector was gaining on the Stupid Brothers. He pulled out his Patriot missile, and aimed at the Stupid Brothers' car. However, as soon as it launched, it immediately shot right past the fleeing vehicle, and smashed into a day care center. As the Inspector passed by it, he heard, "I pity da foo dat blow up a day care center wit' a defective Patriot missile!" He just shrugged, making a note to tell a cop. He then corrected himself, since he was already a cop. Suddenly, a blinding flash of light appeared out of nowhere, and then...  
  
"Crap! A Gumby Roadblock!"  
  
Yes, the mysterious and misunderstood Gumby people, in their knotted hankies, galoshes, and tacky clothing, had once again impeded the flow of normal traffic! What did the Inspector do to counter? He just ran them over. This soon resulted in a few dents from flying bricks, and some larger ones in the shapes of Michael Palin. Nonetheless, the relentless pursuit went on...and on...and on...and then off.  
  
Off? How could it go off?  
  
*BOOM!*  
  
Ah. I see it now...  
  
A great torrent of water was by now shooting through the air. And at the middle of this lay two severely damaged cars, and four soaked folks. The wild chase was finally over. The Inspector slapped handcuffs onto the Stupid Brothers. After then bandaging the bruises from the slap, he gave the Stupid Brothers the riot act.  
  
"Look," he said, bluntly, "you have GOT to stop papering the town with Disney contracts! And putting bombs in people's lasagna, now that you mention it...and the Gumby roadblocks...and turning Professor Fudd into a fig tree...it's all got to stop! From this point on, I am placing you under constant surveillence! And I..."  
  
The speech was unceremoniously interrupted by a harsh shriek of horror. It then went dead as an explosion followed almost immediately after. A black plume of smoke rose nearby, and the Inspector gaped in horror...he rushed to the radio in his car, and began rattling off dozens of messages. The police nets were now abuzz with the news, and soon, three units were dispatched to the place where the explosion occurred...  
  
***  
  
Homicide smiled at his victim. The pungent smell of burnt flesh met his nostrils...to him, it was the smell of victory, of bloodlust, of the triumph of evil. He was strangely unsatisfied, and he knew why: this was not who he was looking for. Lola had been an elusive one as of late. His best efforts to find the sexy rabbit had all been in vain, every attempt to fire on her thwarted at the last possible instant. There must be a better way, he grumbled to himself, holding his gun lightly...  
  
He cocked his head to the right. The police were coming. A decision came to him...was it better to flee, and prevent himself from being known? Or would he just "blow the competition away?" It was like a chess game. Each move he made, each move the other side made...it could either lead to victory or defeat. He smirked. There was much to be said of the value of firepower...he stood his ground, turning his back towards the bright entrance to the alley.  
  
The three police cars came swiftly, skidding to a halt at the entrance. Six officers soon stepped out of their respective vehicles, weapons drawn. One looked at the corpse, shattered and utterly hideous; another scanned the distance. He spotted Homicide, and raised his gun. "FREEZE!" he shouted, the others pointing their weapons at the silhouette as well. "Police! Drop your weapon and put your hands in the air!"  
  
Homicide just smiled as the police were at his back. He turned around, and under the cover of his darkness, readied his gun. "And why should I be inclined to do that?" he retorted. He always enjoyed a good taunting.  
  
"Uhm...drop your weapon, or we will shoot!"  
  
Homicide just smirked, and raised his weapon. "I think not," he slyly said, and suddenly he pulled the trigger. The mini-rockets swarmed out, and soon, more explosions rocked the area as the officers ceased to live, their cars turned to smoldering slag. As the flames shot up from the bodies, their screams of agony ignored by their killer, Homicide laughed maniacally, taunting his victims to their very end. He then stopped, and turned around, walking away.  
  
"I love the smell of burning flesh," he said grimly. "It reminds me...of Hell." He chuckled quietly to himself as he disappeared from whence he came, away from the eyes around...  
  
***  
  
Time passed. It was now evening, and Buster and Babs were walking together, as they always did on favorable evenings. They'd heard about the massacre, and now the Inspector was attempting to contact a federal agency to declare a manhunt for this killer. The exact same thing would have occurred in real life, but with perhaps less alarm. After all, THERE they had John Gacy, Son of Sam, the Zodiac Killer(s), the Yorkshire Ripper, and Charles Manson. Even so, SOMETHING had to be done.  
  
Nevertheless, the couple walked in the park. It was still a bit early in the year, the flowers blooming on the trees. Sometimes, the 'l' was removed and all hell broke loose. Sometimes, it was just a divorced couple, other times, another of Montana Max's schemes to kill them.  
  
Fortunately, this was not one of those times.  
  
"So," Buster began, taking in the spring air, "What do ya wanna do?"  
  
"I dunno," Babs cutely replied, "Maybe we could..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Well...hehe, it's kind of...secret."  
  
Buster raised an eyebrow, and moved his ear closer.  
  
"No...get closer."  
  
Buster complied.  
  
"Closer."  
  
Buster's ear was practically right in Bab's face. She suddenly yanked it towards her and yelled, "Maybe we could GET OUT OF HERE!!!" Buster shot back about fifteen feet, crashing into a park bench. Babs had apparently gotten the idea in her head that maybe she was next on the hit list.  
  
"Why leave? It's so peaceful...tranquil..."  
  
"That's what bothers me."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Somebody could be out there! Somebody might be watching us, waiting to KILL US!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"  
  
Buster just facepalmed as Babs ran about all frightened, like a bunny running away from a hungry fox...oops, bad analogy.  
  
He couldn't tell if she was telling the truth, or being ruthlessly sarcastic. Either way, he'd probably have to leave anyway...the last time she went into this sort of fit, it had been in the movie theater. He rubbed his sore...erm, "behind," remembering with fear what had ensued immediately afterward.  
  
What could he do? They left post haste. The janitors later complained about skid marks, but then again, who takes them seriously, anyway?  
  
***  
  
Well, that was an interesting ending to this chapter...on a somewhat higher note, too. *sigh* Cripes, has it really been this long since I last did a chapter? Oy...*ahem* anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope it wasn't TOO offensive...or, if it was, you'll hold off on the lawsuits. I also hope that my humor is a bit better...lately, it's been kind of hard to come up with funny material. Maybe I should try doing a MiSTING of a TTA story...although I'm working on MiSTING the mother of all crossover fics (in my opinion). ^_^  
  
Anyway, comments, reviews, etc. are always welcome, as are requests. Artwork is also accepted, but please observe the R-rating. I will occasionally make exceptions if need be, but please tell me what you have in mind before you put anything down on paper. It may end up I ask something of you, so I don't fully expect to be given too much work.  
  
Stay tuned for the next chapter, then! (Unless I deep-six the story...*sigh*) 


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